Hark! It’s Halloween!
Ah! The cool breezes of Autumn have finally arrived. I breath in deep as my puppy, Daisy, and I take our morning stroll around the neighborhood. No more sticky, sweaty, buggy mornings. It feels glorious. I love the refreshment of October. Then, rounding the corner, my eye catches some new lawn decor. Ugh! Halloween is on its way. My neighbors delight in the ghouls and goblins, cobwebs and fake gravestones. While the posed skeletons make me chuckle, most things attached to this holiday are not for me. How many days until November? I ask myself.
I didn’t always feel this way about Halloween. When I was a kid, it was one of my favorite holidays! This month, let me share a few stories about why I don’t celebrate Halloween. This won’t be a history lesson on the “true origins of Halloween,” just the story of one family and how God led us to make a different choice on this controversial day.
Each of us decides to obey our own conscience, the conviction of God’s Spirit, or not. We do this with holidays, entertainment and consumption. What seems good to you may not be right for me. As I share a few stories, I would love to read your response. Why do you observe Halloween? Or why do you choose not to? In a time of ugly politics, division and frustration, maybe a conversation about something as benign as a holiday can remind us to listen without taking offense. I’m willing to try.
Gentle Conviction
As a kid, I loved Halloween. My family always dressed up and either went trick-or-treating together, or had fun parties with my friends. I have one picture of myself in a satiny green princess dress. Another year, I was Tiger Lily and my dad and sister dressed as pirates who had captured me. My dad sang in his playful, low voice,
“Fifteen men in a dead man’s chest, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum,
Here’s to the devil and here’s to the rest, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.”
Then I have a picture from the year that almost every girl at our party was a variation of Princess Leah. I defiantly chose to be a witch with tall pointy hat. A good time was had by all!
Then, when I taught at a Christian private school, my principal, Sherrie, urged us to look into the origins of Halloween. She hoped we would abandon our spooky celebrations. She loved fun too, but wanted to honor God in all of her personal choices. This included leading her teachers to consider the issue. I didn’t like that much. I wanted to continue the fun traditions if and when I had kids of my own!
We had lots freedom in my childhood. As far as we knew, all the things we did were healthy, happy choices. I never thought to consider things like horoscopes, tarot cards and ouija boards as problematic. Adventures in darkness held the lure of excitement to us. Why not?
As a parent, I pushed those teachings from my principal to the back of my mind. She could do things her way. My kids and I would have fun! What better way to get to know our new Florida neighbors than to go out trick-or-treating in the neighborhood? As we pulled up to a driveway with our wagon of little dressed up kiddos, a neighbor dad jumped out from behind a bush, “OOO HA HA!” Making my little guys cry. A teen crossed from the other side of the street dressed as a vampire with fake blood dripping down his chin. My little boy’s eyes were full of confusion. “This is scary, Mama,” they seemed to say.
My first response was offense. Why would someone want to scare a little kid? Then I checked my attitude. Isn’t scary what Halloween is all about? If we wanted to participate, who are we to set the rules? I remembered my principal. Maybe she had a point.
“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14, NIV)
I had long ago discarded the New Age practices like horoscopes from my childhood. Now, as I considered my old “favorite holiday,” I heard a small, still voice whispering,
“This is the way. Walk in it” (Isaiah 30:21, NIV).
Other people could make a different choice. But I knew, and Jeff agreed strongly, that for our family Halloween would no longer be a healthy choice. We could find other reasons to dress up and have fun. We would take God’s conviction to heart and separate ourselves out of the darkness.
For me, freely obeying God’s prompting bought peace.
Hollow Hallowed Day
“Maybe we’ve been too extreme,” I discussed the issue with Jeff. Our faith isn’t about rule following, it’s about loving others.”
Now all four of our kids were elementary aged. They didn’t frighten too easily. They were able to watch a good action movie with some violence. Surely the ghouls would be no big deal to them now.
One of our favorite outreaches was the local assisted living facility, Bay Breeze. We joined our homeschool buddies monthly to play Bingo, present talent shows and sing Christmas Carols with the residents. I loved the connections we were able to make with these seniors. We usually skipped the Halloween visit when homeschool kids dressed up and trick-or-treated down the hallway, receiving candy while elderly men and women chuckled and remembered Halloweens past.
“Remember? We don’t do Halloween,” I would disappoint my kids. Now I thought up a plan.
Each of my kids would dress up as a Bible hero. They would tell the residents and their friends about the person they chose. Using simple household items, we put together our costumes with anticipation. This would be fun!
As we walked down the hallways, I was dismayed to see a staff member dressed as a character from the horror movie, Carrie, with fake blood dripping down all over her dress. I tried to get my kids to look the other way. Other staff had less dramatic, but dark-themed garb. There was enough chaos in the building that my kids didn’t feel comfortable explaining their costumes to people. They just held out their bags and took the heaping handfuls of candy. It felt hollow and disappointing in contrast to those other visits when we had shared beautiful carols, connecting generations with hope. As I thought of that Carrie costume, I remembered again, Who am I to judge someone’s Halloween costume? This holiday is all about death and darkness. She’s ‘just having fun.’
Returning home, the kids and I told Jeff all about our visit and how it wasn’t much fun after all. I thought of their karate lessons scheduled in a few hours.
Our friends, the Falbos, teach karate in a Christ-centered environment. We loved the way our classes always ended with a discussion about Bible principles and prayer. The students had been told they could wear costumes to class on Halloween if they were not scary. I hadn’t planned to let my kids dress up.
“Jeff, today was such a disappointment for the kids. How about if we let them wear their superhero costumes to karate?” I asked. Surprised, he gave me the freedom to do what I thought best. “They dress up all the time. Why should we put more restrictions on them than usual? Let’s just think of it not as Halloween, but as a fun dress up karate class” I tried to convince us both.
“Sounds good,” Jeff responded. The kids rushed to their bedrooms to see if Spiderman, Bat Man, Captain America or a unique self-made superhero costume would be coolest!
When we arrived at the karate dojo, I was surprised to see other kids in their normal uniforms. Where were all the costumes? Mrs. Falbo stopped me at the front desk.
“Oh no! You were the only family we didn’t call. We decided it was against our convictions to participate in Halloween. But we knew you didn’t celebrate, so we figured we didn’t need to let you know.”
I rushed back home to grab gis for the kids. They had a normal karate class, though Mr. Falbo included some fun rounds of freeze tag. He ended class a few minutes early to read a book about “Why Celebrating Halloween Doesn’t Honor God.”
I sat in the lobby, listening to Mr. Falbo’s story, feeling the full chastisement of God’s Spirit. Why had I wavered in what I knew He called me to obey? I didn’t feel condemned. But I did feel convicted. God had a better way for me to lead my kids. I could wrestle or submit, the choice was mine.
“Or do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you towards repentance?” (Romans 2:4)
Later that night, Jeff and I had a good laugh over my foolish attempts to “join in the fun” when I knew Halloween was not for us. In future years, I would not repeat that experiment. My lesson was learned and my course was set.
For me, each time I resist God’s prompting, I experience hard learning experiences. When I submit to His guidance I discover unexpected joy. Have you experienced that sort of closeness with God? Please share how He guides us with patience, even in our foolishness.
“The Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as His child” (Hebrews 12:6).
Sincere Faith
We love “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!” Along with the rest of the classic Peanuts movies, we watch Charles Schultz’s Halloween themed cartoon every single year. It’s family tradition.
You may wonder how a family who doesn’t celebrate the holiday justifies this entertainment indulgence. In my mind, I hear the voice of Tevye from “The Fiddler on the Roof” saying,
“I don’t know. But it’s a tradition.”
All month I have been sharing the story of why my family chooses not to observe Halloween. It seems like this should be a simple matter, but in life things usually are complex. How can any of us find the balance between obedience coming from conviction, versus legalism leading to misery? Do any of us strike a perfect balance in this dilemma? Probably not!
My family loves Charlie Brown, Linus, Snoopy and all the Peanuts. Jeff has always identified with the melancholy, misfit kid who frequently exclaims,
“Good grief!” and who’s only invited to parties by mistake. In this episode, Linus convinces Sally that The Great Pumpkin will visit them if they wait in a pumpkin patch filled with sincerity and faith. At 4:00 AM his sister Lucy carries Linus home and tucks him in bed. It’s a rare display of love from this bossy big sister. Sally laments that Linus ruined her fun.
“What a fool I was. Trick or treats come only once a year, and I missed it…”
So, here is this family, the Gibsons, led by God not to participate in Halloween festivities. Yet, we faithfully watch Charlie Brown try to make himself a ghost costume and receive a rock in his bag at every house. We also enjoy “Nightmare Before Christmas” which the kids even performed one year. In a world full of choices, finding the right ones is not always easy.
The Israelites were warned about what the word of God had become to them:
“Do and do, do and do, rule on rule, rule on rule;
A little here, a little there…(Isaiah 28:13a, NIV)
I know people who don’t celebrate Christmas because of its pagan origins. I see what they mean, but God has never convicted me to stop. I know people who listen only to Christian music. Or only classical. I know people who never drink alcohol. How do we figure out which rules to obey?
Isaiah warns,
“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil,
Who put darkness for light and light for darkness,
Who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter” (Isaiah 5:20).
Woe! I don’t want to be one of those people. I want to walk with integrity.
I was writing with my homeschool teen students this month. They are crafting persuasive papers on whether or not people should celebrate Halloween. All of them chose the negatory and so I pretended to write a paper persuading people TO celebrate the holiday. They thought it was funny. Then one bashfully admitted,
“My family used to celebrate Halloween. But we do a little less every year.” I loved his sincerity. I think these lifestyle choices are important, but there is something bigger for us to embrace.
“How gracious the Lord will be when you cry for help! As soon as He hears, He will answer you…whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it’” (Isaiah 30:19,21, NIV).
That’s it!
I want to ask God to guide me. Then, whatever He says, I want to obey. That is the way to grow in maturity, in wisdom, in loving God.
Linus was trying to prove his sincerity to the Great Pumpkin. Poor guy planned to try again next year too. We have nothing to prove with God. He already covered our sins and we live lives of freedom.
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:36, NIV).
But let’s use our freedom to know God more, not to fill our bags with sugary, short-lasting treats.
Authentic Fun
If we choose not to observe Halloween does this mean we can’t have any fun? Are we boring rule-followers? When my kids became teens I was tempted to defensiveness a few times. Sometimes it is hard to stick by our convictions when the world around us has different ideas about goodness, excitement, and freedom.
Let me share the perspective of a joy-filled and fun-loving family. My good friend, Melanie, took a few minutes out of her busy schedule to share her perspective on Halloween.
Well for me and my husband,” Melanie says, “Halloween is a day that we feel mocks the true goodness of God and knowing HIM.
“Growing up in Louisiana in an area where evil was evil and good was good, is part of how I am steered… Voodoo, horoscopes & Ouija boards were definitely strongholds of that culture. Yet, my eyes were opened up as a kid when, on a bike ride around Halloween time, I saw a dark satanic circle set up in the woods. Ya know, darkness isn’t fake, the devil is real and so are witches, but the good news is that God is bigger!” Melanie shares.
I think of how we like to candy-coat the creepy costumes and decorations. Melanie knew from her childhood that these things aren’t simple imaginative thrills. She went to church with dynamic people who had been rescued out of the occult. They had been freed from lifestyles of drug addiction or witchcraft and never wanted to return. Their new life with Jesus was full of steadiness and peace. Because of the cross, they were truly alive. In Melanie’s community the light and darkness were real. We should listen carefully to this truth.
“For He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves” (Colossians 1:13, NIV).
When Melanie and her husband Chad married, this was something they agreed on. They have never wavered on their commitment to follow light and truth. They both see Halloween as darkness to avoid. For them, this isn’t about following a set of rules, it is because they love God.
I asked my friend whether her kids ever express disappointment about not trick-or-treating. She told me they are happy with the traditions of their family. Often on October 31st the Foote family has a special pizza night. They do something different to bless their kids. I know that their family has a culture of joy! Home birthday celebrations evolved over the years to make their front yard look more like a Six Flags water park with 30 kids having a blast! Beach outings, music and motorbikes are just a few of the other ways they live out their abundant life in Christ. Melanie tells me her kids can dress up 364 days of the year, and the funny costumes are often 75% off in the beginning of November, making great Christmas gifts for her children!
A few times, God led the Foote family to provide an outreach to their trick-or-treating neighbors. Melanie turned on all of her houselights and pumped up the worship jams. When kids came to her door, they handed out abundant packages of the very best candy along with tracts telling the kids about God’s love and the truth about good and evil. In this way, her family fought to overcome the darkness with light.
Other years, Melanie and Chad pray for their neighbors as they enjoy a simple, fun evening with their own kids, porch lights off. Even so, I know this family is loving the people in their neighborhood all year, not just the night of October 31st.
I asked Melanie what she would say to younger couples trying to decide whether to observe Halloween with their kids. She said if they didn’t know Jesus, she would ask them if they want to “live in the scary zone filled with fear, anxiety and negativity from the spirit of Halloween?” She would listen to their answer and then point them to the Father of Lights, the Creator of every good and perfect gift.
If they were Christians, she would appeal to their understanding of faithfulness. We have a marriage-like covenant with God. How would we feel if our spouse wanted to have fun with people other than us one day of the year? Faithfulness matters!
Melanie closed our short time together with a Bible verse,
“Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins” (James 4:17, NIV).
When my teens asked me why I wouldn’t let them visit a haunted house, I asked them if I had ever allowed this before. Grudgingly, they agreed that my policy remained the same. They were the ones trying to change things up. I didn’t want to be a “party-pooper,” but some things are worth being misunderstood for. Following our convictions is an essential part of integrity.
Now, I hold up this example to you. Melanie’s family is full of fun and light. There is no wavering in their example. It is absolutely possible to obey our convictions faithfully and live a joyful life. The choice is open to each of us. Just as the Foote family motivates me to obey my convictions, your choices can bring light and hope to the people in your own sphere of influence.
Love Wins!
Last night I carved a pumpkin with my 19 year old. Hypocrite? Maybe, or maybe not.
My 23 year old came to me. “Mama, do you realize how inconsistent you are to carve a pumpkin and watch ‘It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown?’”
“I know, I know.”
“Aren’t you the one writing about why you don’t participate in Halloween?”
I asked her whether she read the post from October 17th on Facebook…
“No, I didn’t read that one.” “Ok, go read it and then I’ll talk with you about the Great Pumpkin.” I wonder if she will!
Who walks through this life with perfect consistency? Who is not in some ways hypocritical? Who perfectly loves God and loves other people? We all fail the righteousness test (Romans 3:10-11). Either we try so hard to obey that we forget to love, or we bend so far to love that we lose sight of right and wrong. Making the godly choice in these matters is close to impossible. It can tangle me up like a pretzel if I let it!
My son chose to come home. He could have stayed at the dorm and had fun without his family. He wanted to carve a pumpkin. We did. Do you see who our pumpkin resembles? He loved this connection with our family’s inconsistent Peanuts tradition. I do too! He reminded me I hadn’t carved a pumpkin with him since first grade. He’s 19.
Some choices are easy in this life. Honesty, faithfulness, mercy and kindness are God-approved choices for any circumstance. With other issues, we are left on our own to decide.
“A new command I give you: Love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-5, NIV).
I hope my son felt loved as we carved out our “blockhead” last night. I hope my daughter understood that I respect her decision not to participate. I hope you, my friends, catch the heart of my message:
I obey when the Spirit convicts me because I want to draw closer to God.
I share my family’s journey to bring open conversations about issues that sometimes divide us.
I am imperfect in my obedience to God.
He loves me anyway.
My hope is not in my goodness,
but in Christ’s perfect sacrifice
on the cross.
When in doubt, I hope I err on the side of love.
“Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:8).
Pumpkin Patch Approval
This final week of October, our Florida temperatures are mild. As you walk through your neighborhood on these pleasant autumn days, how will you show your neighbors that you care? As you ignore creepy decorations, unkempt lawns or offensive election signs, how will you send a more meaningful message?
How will you draw closer to God? How will you demonstrate to your family that they are precious to you? I’d love to read your ideas in the comments.
These conversations are a way we can overcome evil with good.
Love one another sincerely! (Romans 12:9, 21)
-This message has been pumpkin patch approved.-
